so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize