Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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