Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
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