I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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