He is an equal opportunity slut.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
