so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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