we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
