it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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