One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
