You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
