I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
whose parrot is this?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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