So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
