1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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