Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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