Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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