I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
