so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I puked a lego.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
