Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize