Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just puked most of my soul out..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
