do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Randomize
