That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
