I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
