I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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