I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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