I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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