You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
