Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
