i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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