DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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