oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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