Your mouth is God's brothel.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
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I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
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Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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