I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
