I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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