I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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