i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
