The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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