It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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