when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
