awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
