Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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