I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
