do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
