Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
this will be a night to untag.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
