I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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