Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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