Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
