i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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