anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
