is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
