if you like me you must not know who I am
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
