So drunk its hurt
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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