The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
