I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
