Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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