belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
