So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's rum buckets o'clock
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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