Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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