Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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