dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize