the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
