My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have fence marks all over my body
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
