When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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