i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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