so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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