After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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