Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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