i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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